Age and friends

Lately I have found myself more than once in situations where I got hurt from or I have hurt someone I have considered close friend. These are people that I have spent time with, shared something of me, listen something from them and promised will not be shared with someone else, sent hundreds of emails and make myself believe that I have a special bond with them. And just when I thought that I do not need to prove myself anymore toward these people, when I thought that I don't have to be extra careful on picking the words I choose when I talk with these people, when I thought that I have found a place in the universe where I can be me and they can be them... something out of the blue happens and all these things have a big question mark beside.
Sometimes, just because you are hanging out with someone, you automatically have created some anger/ enemy to someone else, because that someone else has issues with the one you are hanging out. Sometimes, just by non saying bad things about someone, you break the relation with someone else that has issues with that other one. All of a sudden, you are in the center of a drama. Two people that have issues with each-other, associate you with the other person. And all you have done is try to be neutral and not pick any side.
Some people like to think they are smart and well brought up that they do not need to learn anything anymore. Some others think that they need to learn a lot and need to get more matured. Some people like to consider themselves invincible, some people like to consider themselves victims.
With so much going on at my work and at my life, I am trying to find time to invest on new friendships, on new people, on new experiences that will help me in a way or another to fight the stress, to feel better about myself, to feel better for being there for someone, to think that I am maybe helping someone in a way. But if at the end of this investment I find myself hurting or being hurt, then I start questioning my ability to be sharp to find the right person to invest to. I have already created jealousies, enemies and all sort of rumors about myself for trying to invest on these people and the result is a big headache, a failure. Is almost like an economic failure in big proportions.
So what to do? All I do is try to explain myself and make sure that the other person knows I did not have bad intentions.
What do I learn? I believe is it hard to make new friends in an older age. We are not capable to see someone without interests and benefits anymore, like children do. Children are friends because they like to play together, because they enjoy each-others company, because they all make silly jokes and all laugh with them, because when someone is crying the other one goes and gives a hug to show the support, because once they get a hug, things are forgiven and forgotten.
I want to be a child again and be able to find friends like that. I want to find friends that I can be me, just the way I am.

Do you want to be my friend?