A close to 40 years old virgin girl, finally found the man of her dreams and the love of her life. They got married and the next thing in order was "make love all night long". Except that it wasn't as easy as they thought. The girl was in a lot of pain and couldn't let the guy get any closer. So they went to the doctor and after talking with him, they decided to have a "chirurgical intervention" which made lovemaking easier and enjoyable.
Story 2:
A virgin girl in her late 30-is, met a guy that she fell in love with all her heart. One small problem was that the guy didn't know she was virgin and she didn't want him to think that she had never been with a man before. So, she calls over a guy she knew, explains to him what she was worried and asked him to help her. The guy helped.
These are true stories. As a girl that has lost virginity relatively late myself, it made me wonder, what was considered, Early, On time, Late and Too late on this regard?
(The Loss Of Virginity Aka The Awakening Of Spring- by Paul Gauguin)
I hear girls 15 years old are having children now. That means that virginity is lost a little earlier. On the other side, I know that a lot of mothers/fathers will be completely in raged if their 15 year old daughter is having sex. So, I gather, at around 15 years old, girls start to feel the desire to be with boys. Some want to hang out, some want to be hanged in other ways. Considering that puberty is also in early stages at 15, I am thinking that is pretty safe to say that "having sex at 15 is Very Early".
Between 15 and 19 (at least in Canada), a girl will finish the high school, pass driving test exams, have her first legal alcoholic drink in public, go on all the places where IDs are required for under 18, hear about different sex experiences from her friends or friends of friends, have first kiss (or not!) and probably will know a guy that she would like to have as boyfriend. Some will be busy solving dilemmas about their future studies, universities, colleges, carriers. Some others, will have more time in their hands and that will get them into thinking more about having a boyfriend. In both cases, the self confidence is growing and the belief that they are able to make the right choice for themselves is very high. Some think that the right choice is to have a boyfriend but not sex. Some other think that the right choice is to have a lot of sex and no boyfriend. The anatomy has reached a level where curves are visible and desirable. So, I would say that by 19 years old, having sex is between "Early and On Time". If a girl thinks is Early, she either thinks that sex is something valuable and would be done for first time with someone special (when she meets him), OR, she really thinks that it is Early and in a way she is scared to lose her virginity.
Between 19 and 25 career is somehow on tracks, biological growth is finished, any quick plastic intervention is taken care of, guys are not "mysterious" anymore because everyone knows what they want and how they function, any legal restriction for under age is removed, some friends are married and with kid(s), interesting guys have been for sure in the picture, the desire to change the World is fading out and the pure selfish ego is shaping up for good. After all the frustration that girls have to go through in schools, during menstrual periods, being compared with other skinny girls or loosing guys they love from other "Early" girls, would be pretty tough to keep thinking that sex is a special thing that must be done with that special guy that you hope will meet one day. So, I think that this age is "On Time" to start having sex and have a lot of it.
Between 25 and 35, the sexual orientation should be well known so any experiment should have been taken care of. The desire for a partner is not a discussion anymore, is a necessity and all the paths should have been walked to figure out how to meet that special someone. Guys are met and the art of breakup must have been mastered in both directions. If no sex has happend, I would think that what at 19 was considered a virtue, now is taking the shape of a monument, and value is being put into it. Nothing wrong into thinking that somethings should be kept special and valuable, but on the other side, the question is "For whom?". At 35, there should be no guy that we should consider so special and worth it to limit ourselves from having sex for him. So I would say, that at this time, we have reached the "Late" stage.
After 35 I guess is the "Very late" case and there is not much need to talk about it. A guy still will consider a virgin girl as "a special perl" but will also start to doubt the reasons. It will take a very special relation, time spent together and same way of thinking, to understand the value of believing on One Love, on A Special Person, on Self Preservation as a virtue. All this can happen, but it will make a relationship more complicated and will require more explanations. I guess that's why the girl on Story 2 just solved it differently. I find that amusing.
All this was about virginity, but I guess works even for other things we consider "valuable" at some point and then "a bottle neck" at another point. A virtue has it's peek and it's low value depending on our age, our desires, our outlook for the future and our interests. It's important to have an expensive virtue at the time when it's in high demand, but need to work around it on times when it's not working anymore for us. A virtue should only be benefitial. Benefitial to us and only us. None is worth it limitations to our life.
