So the other night, I found myself thinking "Who should I think of right now?". And I got nothing back.
I am not the kind of women that likes to think of being with some movie star. They are hot and well presented, but don't do it for me. I need someone I can touch in real life. I need to be emotionally attached with someone, to be attracted to him. Usually handsome guys have a lot of problems with their attitude and issues with their self confidence. Not for me, thank you very much.
So, right now, in my life, there is nobody that I can think of that will turn me on. Is it because of the place I work where people are like robots? Hard to find a hot guy at work. I have discussed this with 2 colleagues, one girl and one gay guy and they are in the same conclusion, there are no hot guys at work. On the other side, there are no smart, well educated, attractive guys either. They all seem to be assholes.
Is it because the guys that might turn me on haven't been in touch with me in a while and I feel them remote? It can be. I do know guys that at some point in my life I have felt connected and attracted to. And then for a reason or another, they have either changed and I do not feel connected with them anymore. Or they have gone code blue on me and I don't know where they are. Or they talk to me once in a while by email or phone and then silence again. I do not blame any of them. The life is very fast and things move very quickly. I am not able to follow up with them as often as I would want to and I guess they might be in the same situation.
Is it because the weather is getting cold and I am getting cold too? I have to say, I think I know why sunflowers are my favourite flowers. They like sun, just like me. When is sunny and warm, I am happy and have energy and I make others think of me, rather than me need to think of someone. When it is cold, I am a different person altogether. More productive at work maybe but not on the personal level.
Can be any of these, or all of the above. And frankly, is not that I see it as a big problem. Was just a surprise to realize that the number of guys that I can feel connected and attracted to right now, is zero, actually 0.0 to be precise. Wow! Where did all the guys go? Did I feel like this when I was single? Maybe that's why I was ok to get married when I found someone decent. I thought at that time that I would never find a better one. Truth being told, I have meet other guys after my wedding that I could have considered if I was single. But at that point was not even necessary to take that path of thinking. And then, all of a sudden, I find myself unable to think of someone. I am back on understanding the boys from the single girl prospective.
2 comments:
Your post reminds me of when astronomers look skywards at the stars for signs of life and the search for that elusive other Earth somewhere in the cosmos. It has to be in that perfect Goldilocks zone of just right – not too hot or too cold. I guess it’s the same with men (and women). Sometimes you hit it lucky by looking in the right place at the right time, but other times it’s just a dead radio signal or a dull compromise.
Keep pointing that telescope upwards. Failing that, go re-discover the previous stars that made you tick. Maybe they’re like those comets that swing back every few hundred years....
Not a bad comparison, but on the other side, makes me look like desperate :)) I would LOVE to find new life in universe! Would love to find new ways of living/communicating/evolving. Always up for that, always looking in telescope!
Re-discovering previous stars is like finding them again. Big Bang effect has pushed them and me to other orbits and evolved in other environments. What are the chances that two stars meet again in this expanding universe?
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