A big change in my life

Last year I attended a conference at this time of the year. This year I went to the same conference again.
Last year, when I returned, I went with my husband and daughter for dinner before going home from airport. This year we went for dinner to the same place on the way home from airport.
Last year I met a guy at the conference. This year I met him again and I introduced him with my daughter (she came with me this year at the conference)
Last year, during the dinner on the way home from airport, I was talking to my husband and my daughter but I was thinking about this other guy and feeling unsure on how to go on with him. This year, during the dinner on the way home from airport, I was talking to my husband and daughter but I was still thinking about this other guy and feeling sure about him and about what I had to do with my husband.
Last year, on the way back from the conference I felt like a cheater. This year on the way back from the conference I felt that my divorce was necessary.

Yes. Divorce. It is such a heavy word and comes with so many emotions. I had thought about divorce before but was something that "other" could do it, not me. Raised in a traditional family, divorce was a tabu to even think about. My mom has put a lot of bad things about divorce in my head that had made me lived in a marriage where I wasn't happy, completed or growing. But I continued staying and pushing days by, thinking this will be worth it at some point, that this is good for my daughter to grow up in a family that stays together, that all marriages are like this, that at the end of the day my husband loves me although he doesn't show it. I had brought up this topic before with my family and they did their best to push this idea down and tell me all the benefits of staying married. At the end they did say that if things were really bad then I could divorce but was not the ideal solution. I had brought up this topic even with my husband before but he never took it seriously. He thought I am the kind of women that tries to fix things, not break up. He was right. I did that for 13 year we have been together. But he didn't see that things kept breaking and breaking and they were at a point where even Crazy Glue wouldn't help much.
And then I met this guy. I wasn't looking for anybody. From what I know now, he has been looking to find someone compatible for a long time. Just like me he was in an unhappy marriage.
But he has a fine sense of knowing people. And he knew right away that we were pretty compatible. I didn't. My female senses let me think that he was someone worth meeting, talking, getting to know close, but I was not looking for more. I had put myself in a box where I was keeping myself away from guys that would be interested in me in ways that were not professionally related. He came close, he insisted, he found ways to talk to me and make me talk to him, he found ways to get to know me and to let me know about him. He decided to change a lot of things in his life and make his path walk toward mine. During the past year he divorced, lost a lot of weight, changed his life style, and keeps making plans to bring his life into mine. During the past year, he got really close to me, he covered me with dreams and hopes, he made me look ahead to better ways of being with someone, he made me believe that my daughter will be ok, he made me believe that I am beautiful, smart and worth it. He gave me courage, support, love and a new look at life.
During the past year, I went through a lot of stress. And now I am here, completely open to everyone. I told my husband about all this and I told him that I want to split. It was liberating to get that out of my chest. It did bring other kind of stress. I had to now go through the process of bringing my husband to the same level of understanding how broken our marriage was and that our daughter will be ok if we handle this in a friendly way. For a while I was in a place where I had two men that loved me and that were doing their best to make me pick one of them. Sounds great but it rather is a great stress. And then my husband gave up and accepted that it was over between us.
Now we are in the process of separating. Who keeps what, when will we move out, how will our daughter spend time with both of us, splitting finances, etc. One thing we agree is to not use lawyers. We are hopping to manage to do all this in a friendly way and in agreement. It will be tough because at some point one of us might feel hurt or find something unfair. It's a process that needs patience and considerations.
I am ending one big chapter of my life. It was an important chapter. A lot of things happened to me during this time. No regrets at all.
I will start a new chapter in my life. I am excited and cautious at the same time. I don't want to mess up again. I don't want to end up in a relationship where I will stay just because splitting is a lot of work to do or because I would lose my self confidence in being able to have a relationship. I have a lot of lessons learned from my last 13 years that I hope I will be smart enough to not repeat the mistakes again. At the end, I want to be happy and I want my daughter to see how a good relationship looks like.
Wish me luck!