On Sunday, I spent about one hour with about 4 moms that had minimum 3 children and were very much pro home schooling, very in touch with what was going on around their kids school and what teachers and principals were able to do or not.
The way my friends brought the argument was kind of no brainier to think that with people that have the same culture you will not argue small things that are common sense and well understood from the way you are grown up. With someone from another culture you have to argue small things that might end up to a big fight. But I think we need to move out of our culture to get better and learn the best of both sides. Yes there are things to argue, everyone thinks that the way they do things is right but at one point both agree that everyone can bring something into the relation and that is not just wrong or right but it might be just two different ways of getting to the same point. For me, getting married with a guy from the same culture is like getting married with your father or brother. He will make you face the same issues that the man in your family made you face all your childhood. You will not be able to be who you are because they will frame you just like you have been framed before, in the name of the morals and what is supposed to be right from the culture point of view.
The way those moms argued was that in school your kids are not able to be who they are because they will have to follow rules set by teacher. These rules sometimes are archaic and do not make sense. Also, principals are not always able to control teachers and force control. While in a home school, you let your child develop in a natural way. Looks like this kind of schooling was the latest fashion now in Guelph to keep bored housewives wired to something interesting. Museums are open during the week and it is nice to visit them when there are not too crowded. Sometimes, you get together with other families that do home schooling and you can invite a teacher that will come to your house and explain science in a fun way for your kids. At the end they all agreed that it can't last for long and they all had their kids in school now. So the topic now was discussions about how principal and teachers behave, how capable are they and how is the communication with them. They have interviews with teachers very often, they go to school meetings, they sign petitions on what the school should do or they can even start an anti-petition for what school decided to do. Did I mentioned that they were all home stay moms? I can't disagree more with any of them. I was screaming inside during all the time and couldn't connect with any of them. They were in a different World and different dimension for me. But they all introduced themselves as intellectuals, with work experiences that had stopped once their kids needed attention and they all had more kids than I did. But what do I know about kids? I have only one 4 year old and I haven't been in Canadian schools to be able to argue how they function. Another thing that surprised me a lot was the fact that they seemed to be happy and in love with their husbands. I found that very fake because never before I have been with other married women who had no issues with how little their husbands did at home, or how much attention they put to work rather than home and kids. In my opinion, these are real women in real relations.
I asked my husband about both.
For the first one he laughed and said that I did right to marry a Canadian guy. It's good to mix things and be open. Maybe it would have been different with someone else for both of us but we can't find that out, now that we are together :)
For the second one he said he is pro home schooling and he would love it if I could do that. He thinks is a good thing for the kid and for the mother. Saying mother here because he doesn't think that the father can do that, only mothers :) Well .... there goes the argument :)
The point is that I felt that on both these cases I had a dilemma going on. I do not agree with the fact that only couples of the same culture have no problems and I am against home schooling. Am I right or are these other people right? The way they were talking and explaining things, made me feel very naive. You know, one day you feel strong, confident, able to handle everything and then something happens and makes you feel like a child that knows life only from books and movies but has no real experience. My 35-th birthday is around the corner but when will I grow up ?
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