February was a mess

Didn't write at all last month. I just didn't realize where last month went, when did it start and when did it finish. I almost forgot the birthday of my friend and I did forget the birthday of my nephew. All because I had lots to do at home, at work, on the phone, on my brain, on emails.
Lots of people lost their job at my work. We, left behind, were dumped all the work they were doing. Also we needed a re-org. I had to remind some people that I had been asking to change position for a while and now seemed like the perfect time. At the time this position was offered, I was also asked to start a new job at my husbands work. Didn't like it after I found out what I had to do so, I accepted the position at my current job. The trick is that I had to close my current position and I was loaded with a couple of projects. Had to work a couple of weekends to put things in place. In the middle of all this, I learned that a good friend of mine has no idea how job gets done by a developer and a product manager. We had a fight, things were said, job is being done, friendship had a crack. Week after next I begin my new job. Moving from one pot of hot water to another pot of hot water.
At home I am adding a new bathroom. Needed a plumber, an interior drywall and tile guy. Found them. The plumber nothing to be too impressed about but the other guy is awesome. That is the kind of husband I would have wanted to have. Because he is doing good job, I think I will do some other renos at home. I had to shop around for tiles, tub, vanity and stuff. Drove a pickup truck couple of times. Made me feel like a Southern girl, just had to change the accent.
Watched some good movies, "Revolutionary road", "Slumdog millionaire", "The reader", "Valkyrie". Kate Winslet got the Oscar for best actress on "The reader". After watching the movie, not sure was deserved. "Slumdog millionaire" got more Oscars than other movies and Sean Penn said "You commy, hommo lovers" twice when he got his Oscar for best actor.
Somehow lost my track on exercising and I feel like I am going back on having a saggy belly. Perfect! Right now that the spring is trying to come and girls will start showing off their flat bellies and good skin.
A little girl named Sophia was born.
Obama visited Canada without a hat or gloves.
Played chess with a guy that has been winning for 10 years. He played against me and his son. We won and was a miracle!
The new quote I liked "Your credit card company, knows 2 years ahead about your divorce".

After all, if I go back and think about everything, this was the kind of month I would like to have. Be busy, have things to do and no time to think of stupid things. Was a mess, but sort of colorful.

Friendships, Flowers and Fights in French

A LA CLAIRE FONTAINE Chant traditionnel À la claire fontaine M'en allant promener J'ai trouvé l'eau si belle Que je m'y suis baigné Il y a longtemps que je t'aime Jamais je ne t'oublierai Sous les feuilles d'un chêne Je me suis fait sécher Sur la plus haute branche Un rossignol chantait Il y a longtemps que je t'aime Jamais je ne t'oublierai Chante rossignol chante Toi qui as le cœur gai Tu as le cœur à rire Moi je l'ai à pleurer Il y a longtemps que je t'aime Jamais je ne t'oublierai J'ai perdu mon amie Sans l'avoir mérité Pour un bouton de roses Que je lui refusai Il y a longtemps que je t'aime Jamais je ne t'oublierai Je voudrais que la rose Fut encore au rosier Et que mon douce ami fût encore à m’aimer Il y a longtemps que je t'aime Jamais je ne t'oublierai À la claire fontaine M'en allant promener J'ai trouvé l'eau si belle Que je m'y suis baigné Il y a longtemps que je t'aime Jamais je ne t'oublierai

AT THE CLEAR FOUNTAIN Traditional song At the clear fountain I went for a walk The water was so nice That I took a bathe I've been loving you for so long I will never forget you Under the leaves of an oak I dried myself On the highest branch a nightingale was singing I've been loving you for so long I will never forget you Sing nightingale sing You with a gay heart Your heart feels like laughing Mine feels like crying I've been loving you for so long I will never forget you I lost my fried Without deserving it For a bunch of roses That I refused from him I've been loving you for so long I will never forget you I would love that the rose be still on the bush And that my sweet friend be still loving me I've been loving you for so long I will never forget you At the clear fountain I went for a walk The water was so nice That I took a bathe I've been loving you for so long I will never forget you

Because there is someone

Yesterday, a friend called me. The friend told me that I should join Facebook so that we can stay in touch and share what we are doing. Then the friend told me "Bye and stay intelligent". It is nice to have phone calls like that. In a busy day, with so much going on, bad economy, lots of snow, very cold weather, hot gossips, elbow pushes...it is so soothing to hear that someone cares about you, that someone wants to know what are you eating (that's what you write on Facebook, right?!), that someone thinks you are intelligent and should stay like that.
It reminded me this song that I always loved. Is in Albanian and my mom always was puzzled on why do I like it. Well, here mom, on days like that, I like this song.
Thanks for calling :)

Nuk kerkoj tjeter njeri (Elton Deda) Kam kohe pa e pare,nuk di ku do jete, at vjeshte te brishte dhe zerin e saj si kristal... mes zerave te dimrit, mundohem ti flas as vet nuk e di, pse lodhem ta gjej, ende ndjej, ndonese ka shume akull mes nesh. kjo vjeshte e heshtur, dimrin se fsheh. refreni se dielli ndricon prape dhe shiu pushon, nuk di zemra e saj,nga dhimbja renkon, gjithshka do ta falja qe hapat e saj,te trokisnin prape te une(te une) ende syte e tu,kane ca lote te pathare si fshin dot e dashur,ndonse jemi larg... dhe kurre mos mendo,vetem,sje ne kte bote sepse ti ke nje njeri...qe te do as vete nuk e di,pse lodhem ta gjej ende ndjej,ndonese ka shum akull mes nesh kjo vjesht e heshtur,dimrin se fsheh... refreni ne zemren time,dimri dhe vjeshta me thone per ty jo mos kerko tjeter njeri se dielli ndricon prap dhe shiu pushon nuk di zemra e saj,nga dhimbja renkon dhe kurr mos mendo,vetem,sje ne kte bote sepse ti ke nje njeri...qe te do

Not looking for someone else (Elton Deda) Long time I haven't seen her, don't know where she is that fragile Fall and her crystal voice within Winter voices, to her I'm trying to talk I just don't know why, I try to find her still feel, even tho' there is lots of ice between us this silent Fall, can't hide the Winter Chorus The Sun will shine again and the rain will stop, don't know if her heart still suffers from the pain, I would give everything so her steps would knock at my door again There are still tears in your eyes and baby you can't wipe them, even when we are far apart... but never think you are alone in this World because there is someone out there that loves you I just don't know why, I try to find her still feel, even tho' there is lost of ice between us this silent Fall, can't hide the Winter Chorus Deep in my heart, Winter and Fall tell me not to look for someone else anymore

Copy-Paste

I do not usually do this but I am not good on explaining or having a smart opinion on Economic-Financial problems. So, for the first time, I will copy-paste here an article from Forbes. It explained why girls used to wear as little clothes as possible at my country while I was trying to finish University and start in my professional life. I could not compete with those girls even after I moved to Canada. My dressing was always on the conservative side. I like also the analysis of what factors to look for to start feeling optimist or pessimist about the future. Enjoy!

What your social life says about the economy
by David K. Randall and Jon Bruner, Forbes.com
Tuesday, December 30, 2008 provided by forbes

How does an economic slowdown affect day-to-day tasks like deciding what to wear, what to listen to and what to eat? Those questions are the driving force behind what's known as social economic indicators.

The most famous social indicator is the hemline index, developed in the 1920s by George Taylor, an economist at the Wharton School, which showed that the length of dresses increased when the economy slowed.



Recent studies have purported to show that the tempo of popular songs slows, that beer and pasta sales increase, and that Playboy's Playmate of the Year tends to be older and heavier during bad economies.

But these indicators are of little value if you're wondering where the economy is going. Instead, they're a much better sign of where the economy has been.

“The problem with these metrics is that people will continue to feel bad into an expansion,” says David Kelly, the chief market strategist for J.P. Morgan Funds.

Kurt Karl, the chief economist for Swiss Re, agreed, saying, “There are many spurious connections that can last for a little while, but there's no social indicator with any common sense underpinning to it.”

The lag between economic expansion and the time those gains are felt through the wide economy can last between a few months to over a year, experts say. Consumers spooked by a layoff may be more careful about their spending in the future even if they find employment again, for instance.

That will push the Consumer Confidence Index down. Or, there may be other reasons why growth is overshadowed. The S&P 500 grew almost 30 per cent during the Carter Administration, but inflation and the Iran hostage crisis contributed to widespread unhappiness.

Consumers can also feel good about an economy that's slowing or a bubble that's bursting. A&E launched its show Flip This House in the midst of the housing bubble, which contributed to a widespread idea that it was easy to improve and resell a house for a quick buck well into the declining housing market. Some of the biggest failures from the dot-com bust were the result of overeager investors bidding up shares for no reason other than exuberance.

All of this means that the latest consumer confidence numbers don't necessarily portend an extension of the downturn. The University of Michigan's index of consumer confidence dropped to its lowest level since 1980 in November, but that most likely reflects bad news from the last month or two rather than prospects for the near future.

Other types of social indicators like divorce rates, fertility rates and drug crimes are of little value in determining growth as well, according to a 1998 study by Johannes Fedderke and Robert Klitgaard in Economic Development and Cultural Change, a journal published by the University of Chicago. The study, which looked at over 25 countries, found that the chief social indicators that go along with economic growth are strong individual rights, political stability and efficient government institutions.

What cultural clues should we look for to know that we're once again in a period of growth? Advertising is one. If marketers think that they can sell more products by emphasizing fun or luxury rather than value, they expect that those moods have a greater cultural relevance and will thus lead to more sales.

Popular car sales is another. While vehicle sales is a standard metric for economists to gauge the health of the economy, the specific type of vehicles sold often reflects the national mood. Sales of small, fuel-efficient cars typically make up a greater proportion of overall sales during downturns, while larger vehicles or luxury models do better during times of growth.

But given its track record, maybe we should look to A&E. Once it starts broadcasting Makin' Do With What You Have, we'll know we're in a period of growth.

Viva Las Vegas and more

I might have mentioned before that end of the year is the most depressing time of the year, at least for me. I want to disappear December 18 and come back January 11. So this year we went to Las Vegas. I thought would be the perfect choice to forget Christmas and on top is warmer than where I been spending winter lately, covered in snow. Got a good deal on the Hotel+Flight. Stayed at MGM hotel and had a nice view from the window. Vegas is really nice at night. The lights take you to a different world, never sleeping one and full of lust. During the day is good too but the light outside doesn't match the luxury indoors. It is better to spend the day indoors, walking from one hotel to the other, from one shop to the others, from one place to eat to others. I really liked Bellagio's water show, I had goose bumps when they played "Christmas Eve Sarajevo" and then smooth it up with "Santa Baby". The food is really good practically anywhere. Had a lunch to a Volfgang Puck "Bar & Grill", tried the breakfast Buffet at Paris and Bellagio, had a Mexican dinner at Diego (at MGM) and I have to say the food was good. Went around shopping at a Outlet mall and then shops at Cesar's Palace and Venetian. High end stuff, lots of glitter everywhere, everything lust oriented, everything screaming "Show me the money". My friend kept reminding me "Act rich!" all the time :) Went to Hoover Dam, a real nice engineering wonder, something that makes Americans proud when it comes to building. Wanted to go to Area 51 and Grand Canyon but didn't make it. My daughter got a little cold but at least not so bad as to make us go to see an American doctor and get through all the trouble of being reimbursed from the insurance. I didn't get lucky with the weather. Was actually cold and rainy. No snow at least. I didn't get lucky to win any money either. I mean, I didn't play because I know I am not lucky at gambling anyway, but I was hopping my husband was and he managed to win a little that he lost it back again :)
Back to Canada, the entrance to the driveway at home was blocked by a small hill of frozen snow. We had to get the snow blower at 11:00 PM to actually get the car in our driveway. Nice welcome! And at the door was a box waiting for us. The first reminder that Christmas actually happened and there are gifts send our way for my daughter and I have to actually send gifts to people, eventho' I escaped to Vegas. I am late with gifts, I still have to do some shopping for some toys for kids and small things for some friends. I will be meeting a lot of friends on New Year and I will have to go there loaded with gifts. Agrrrr.. how can you actually, really-really-really ever escape from Christmas????


Another thing I had planned was the Nutcracker ballet at the "Four Seasons" center in Toronto. What a nice place, well architected and neatly done. There were so many little girls dressed in pretty dresses, with long hair done nicely and with the desire to be a ballerina in their eyes. You had to see how they would look at the ballerinas during the break, when they were signing booklets!! Before the show, they had Story time where a girl and a guy did a small theater about what the ballet will be about. I thought that was a good idea and kids seemed to like it. Was a nice show and I enjoyed it... except... the Sugar Plum Fairy!!! She is supposed to be one of the most beautiful, gracious, elegant, delicate figures in that show. The one that danced that role was stalky,sort of chubby, with very muscly and curvy legs that were screaming to me "I have worked a lot to be in this place, I have overworked, I have done whatever it takes to be in this role, I have pushed with my elbows, I have kicked with my feet, I have spit to faces and I have kissed asses, JUST to be in this role". She had no elegance, no fragility but technically she was good. I am not a ballerina and I do not pretend to be a ballet critic, but that choice of Sugar Plum Fairy was not in my taste. A lot of other ballerinas that danced in that show looked much nicer and could have done a better Sugar Plum Fairy. I had no problems with the Ice Queen, she matched my expectation and so did the Soldier... except when he was wearing those tight sort of pants. Man, They should do something to create a better fabric that will make those guys look decent and not so "Show off my stuff" when dancing in stage, in front of a lot of little girls with the dream to become ballerinas in their eyes.


To come back to the Season, I sent yesterday a "Happy New Year" email to a bunch of friends in my email list that I do not keep in touch often. Some of them actually replied. I found out that one of them now is married and has a little girl (must have been a quick Pregnant-Oh Shit-Marry Me- story), another one is in Philippines which makes me think he likes that place and he must be attracted by a girl there (in my opinion, they are pretty and give to the guys the feeling that they will obey and love then un-conditionally). Another one told me that she is still working on her PHD and now is getting critical because her mother-in-low thinks she will never finish it :)At the end, I think was a good email the one I send because made me get back in touch with all these friends that are in my heart and mind but I never get time to actually write or call them.


In between, I have been in touch with some friends that I see and talk almost everyday when I am in my normal work-home routine. One is coming with me along all the stores to find any deals on clothes but nothing is working out. Another one is in love from head to toe and I'm happy for him, seems like he is getting what he has been wishing for during the year. The other one is giving me philosophical lessons that are challenging the amateur psychiatrist inside me. Another one told me she passed an exam that I want to take and don't feel ready yet. I felt jealous about that but I was told that is not jealousy, just a push to make me want to pass that exam more. Another one is going to Cuba for New Years and I wish him a warmer weather than what I had to Vegas. Another one just got married with a doctor and seems very happy with her new life.
The World keeps spinning, people keep living, things keep happening. All we have is HOPE.†

What did I learn from 2008

Was not a bad year at the end, if I look at everything that happened. Not a great one either.
As a woman I keep being reminded that we must be pretty, hot, smart, interesting, strong, intuitive, fertile, creative, busy but still, sometimes being a little silly-stupid is much appreciated and nicely received.
As an employer I learned that upper management must be reminded once in a while who you are, especially when you are not working on the project that is the hot subject of the day.If you make a deal with one of these people, the deal is never signed in stone and is subject of changes (not necessary favorable to you) at any moment. Don't break you back for work.
As a wife I keep learning that marriage is a better deal for men.
As a mother I learn that although we love our kids to death, we do need time away from them for the sake of mind sanity.
As a sister I learned that brother is a man that tells you the truth without looking at your breast or take the connection one step further.
As a daughter I learned that I will always be the daughter, no matter how old I get.
As a friend ...hmmmm... this is tough....as a friend I have learned that I should not get too attached but still be a good friend that is there with heart and soul to give a hand or a smile. I should make myself easy detachable to protect myself from feeling empty or used or misunderstood.
As a fighter I learned that being only strong will break you and being only soft will press you.
As a writer I have learned that people like to change your stories and take them to places you didn't want to go, so stick with your story.
As a human I have learned that life is beautiful, colorful, surprising, hurtful, painful and all the rainbow colors in between.
After all I have learned, I feel empty for some weird reasons. I have met some awesome people that have done some great things and that makes me feel unfulfilled. I have met some sad people that I was not able to make smile with my junior psychiatrist skills and that challenges me. I have met some people that fight with shadows in their heads and do not see that life can offer more if they look in a different direction. At the end, we all deserve what we get, because we did something to make it come our way.
I will add here my favorite song and video for this year and wish you all Love and Joy.

Sayings

I have lost my muse lately. Nothing special has happened, just no push to be creative.

It just happened that I read a saying by Mae West:
It is not important how many men are in your life, but rather how much life is in your men.
For some reasons this hit me, it makes so much sense if you think about it. And I think is the same for the other gender too. I need to have around me people that have something to say, something to tell and show, something to teach me, something new that I haven't heard before. These are the people that trigger a spark on me, that make me want more of them. We live in a busy world and we can meet new people every day.Not all of them stay with us. They need to say something to attract us, they need to know something to intrigue us, they need to have imagination to make us dream, they need to have a life that we like to live. People like this are rare and if you find one, you stop looking for a while for others. Just a pretty face doesn't work. Just a genius doesn't work. Just a rich person doesn't work. Just being nice doesn't work. We need the whole package.

And then a friend of mine told me one day: "You don't like calm, you like to make waves". Didn't think of that before. I actually thought that I like things to be smooth and people be able to communicate calmly. But if I like the saying from Mae West, then maybe I do make waves. I make waves to keep my life colorful, interesting, daring. I am not in any sense promiscuous. But I love life, I hate routines, I love cool, I hate bullshit. If this means making waves, then I am a wave maker ...and also a Mermaid! At the end, someone has to ride that wave and is not gonna be Santa Claus!

I have heard some other sayings that are not so interesting but maybe you will find them educative:
- If you do not inherit anything from your parents, you start your life twice poorer than your parents
- The baby was so ugly that the mother kept the stork
- "If someone will kidnap me and your mother, who would you be more worried about?" -"The kidnappers!"
- I do not get married because I do not like having strangers in my house