The Agenda

This is a show hosted on National Canadian channels at night time. The guy usually picks up interesting themes to discuss. Sometimes I like to listen, sometimes they are boring for me. Tonight he had "What's love got to do with it" and then after that "The secret of happiness".

On the first one there were 4 people, two professors, one matchmaker and one scientist for match making. The whole thing falled into comparing India with Western. In India, marriages are arranged, in Western people want romantic love right away. In India, people get married and then fall in love, in Western peopel fall in love and then get married. One of the guys said that the Western love is more of a lust while in India, love comes after a long period when people have lived together and learned how to live together. At the end, they all agreed that is the guy that takes teh check in any part of the World. You can go and check myloveskills.com, about 70 questions that might tell you something about yourself.
On the second discussion, the speaker was Arthur Brooks, a professor that just wrote a book about happines and that has been the reason he has been happy lately. He compared different religions, political belifes and geographics. Americans, althought they live to work, they were happier than French that work to live. Looks like in North America you have more options to have the job you like and that makes you happy. While in Europe this is not the case so people work jobs they do not like and that doesn't help to make them happy. And since people that are happy live longer, the average of North Americans that are happy with their jobs live longer than Europeans. Also, religion is one thing that brings happiness but is more into the people that practise religion than others that do not. Alos, Conservatives looks like to be happier than Liberals, based on what the basis of your life style is and what are you looking for. But being an extreme Liberal or extreme Conservative, they are happy equaly. This is because they have no doubts they are right! The bad thing is that they try to bring their extreme beliefes to others and make them un-happy! Go check thehappyway.com

My daughter made me cry

So this morning, I asked my little girl to get ready to leave home and go to daycare. Got the clothes for her ready and then I took the garbage out (was literally garbage day!) Made some milk and gave her a little banana for breakfast. She decided not to eat the banana, just hold it and altho' I kept asking her to eat the banana and put her shoes on, she didn't and after me asking about 3 times, she decided to start crying. When she cries, she considers me as a towel so was trying to come and put her head on me. Her mouth was open, with spit all over, tears too and I had on me a white shirt, all ready to leave for work any second. So I got irritated and raised my voice telling her to stop crying for no reason, just put the shoes on and let's go. No result. She actually called me "mean". Put the shoes on her myself (asking her to eat the banana meanwhile) and when she was ready I opened the door and asked her to come with me. By that time, my husband, still in bed, told her that she can wait and go to daycare with him instead. So instead of coming with me, she went upstairs to him. I left home, got in the car and on the way to work, I started crying. I felt horrible for leaving like that, she crying and me angry and my husband thinking he got the situation under control. It just made me feel not needed. Seemed like my presence was not required at all and I was the kind of person that is not able to give back what a child needs. I really felt a failure as a mother. So later on, I called my husband to check how did it go after I left and he said that things were just fine. Looks like the main issue was that she didn't want to eat the banana at home but at the daycare. He told me that she started eating the banana when she arrived at daycare and was showing to her teachers how she could eat that. I felt a little better but still I was not happy. When I picked her up from daycare, she seemed just fine, actually in love with Dimitri, one of the little guys at her daycare. The morning was completely forgotten, she was laughing with me again and we had fun in the evening.
So, she cries, she calls me mean, she gets over with it during the day and things are fine.
I take care of her, I forgive what she says to me, I cry and I can't get over with my day.
When do we start taking the kids seriously? When do we treat them like adults, when do we treat them like kids and when do we treat them like babies? I am sure that some of you that have kids, are probably laughing with me on this, but she made me cry this morning. And I try not to cry easy. Lyrics from Coldplay:

God give me style and give me grace
God put a smile upon my face

In other conditions I would have given more attention, but that is a luxury in the morning when you are already late and still at home discussing with your kid how to eat a banana. In other conditions, I wouldn't have tried to make her reason and put logic into what to do but rather just hug and kiss her and she would have forgotten the little protest against me. In other conditions, I wouldn't have cried today on my way to work. I guess I am just human and depending on the magnetism around me, I become a positive or a negative field of attraction.

CEO blogs

I was trapped to spent some time in a room with some geeks and the most interesting thing I found was a magazine (off course on IT). Was reading through and found a piece that was talking about these COE-s in some big companies, that were having their personal blogs open for anyone on internet. So I came back to my computer and I thought I will check out their blog sites. It is interesting to see how these successful guys think and it is a privilege to be able to read and learn from them.

1- http://www.jimestill.com/
Quite interesting. I like the fact that you can see he is a smart chap and takes only what he needs out of a situation, book, email or meeting. He is also funny in some of them, nice sense of humor that doesn't hurt. I especially enjoyed "World as 100 people".

2-http://blogs.sun.com/jonathan/
More related to work, not very personal and I like that he is visual too, tries to put pictures and faces on the things he talks about. He seems sort of laid back guy.

3-http://blogwrite.blogs.com/
Apparently she is considered the Queen of blogs because she knows allt he trick someone needs to know when writing a blog. From that IT magazine I was reading, she said that the blog has to be no more than 500 letters, has to be updated often, no need to put company confidential information (Figure!), need to be attractive enough so it doesn't get dull. In short, she was saying that when a CEO writes a blog, is almost as preparing a speech or writing an email that will be received by public.

4-http://marklogic.blogspot.com/
More theoretical and old school. I do not get the vibe of humor or being up with the "day-to-day what the teenagers are doing" kind of guy, very business oriented but definitely smart and intelligent. His blogs are long and I can loose attention before the end. But that's just me!

5-http://www.blogmaverick.com/
He is a very successful entrepreneur and there is a lot about him if you just Google his name. His blogs are long and you can see that all he cares is "money making ideas". You have to speak a certain language to understand and enjoy him.

6-http://www.klynch.com/
Is more of "How I think we should advertise Adobe" kind of site, very much oriented to his personal business.

7-http://www.novell.com/company/blogs/cmo/
Sleek looking blog. He is actually Chief Marketing so his blog is more into marketing. He is also work oriented but has some good thoughts on how marketing should be the key to promote something that is not doing very well. I enjoyed "Fat free French fries"




Well, there are tons like these out there but I will stop here and let you check the rest and decide what you like. This was just some food for your thoughts and now that you are hungry, let's get the menu :)

Kite runner

A friend of mine has been telling me for a long time to read this book. I value his opinion on these matters so I would have read this book but lately I haven't had any chance to read anything that is not related to my work and the project I am working on like a donkey. Browsing the TV tonight, I found that this movie was showing. Didn't catch it from beginning but was early enough for the story to make sense and be linked. At the end, I give two thumbs up. Wonderful story, one of those that stay with you, in your mind late after the movie is over and you are confused with a couple of bright-colorful-happy advertisements about good products being sold in North America. Is a powerful story that, although I am not from that part of the World, I understand how it works and what is respected, by choice or not. It is refreshing to read how life is seen from that side of the fence. All we hear is the story that media gives to us. Can be American media or European one, it doesn't matter. The voice of the people from Afghanistan is rarely heard and taken seriously. Even the guy that helped him from Pakistan, represents a whole country that is not taken with respect and right attention. It is almost as calling someone mother f@#&^$ if you call them Paki, and yet again, he was human and put himself in trouble. One other thing that this movie brings is the way the new generation of the people from these countries, is changing and how they are looking at things with more tolerance. The old generation represented by their parents at the end of the movie falls down, all that "Keep your head up", "Don't embarrass the family", "Respect older man".... all these big words and "lessons for life", are all a big bubble that is not what it seems. The new generation is between these "rules" put in front of them from their families and the other open-kind of life seen around them from other people in North America.

Before and After a gift

Maybe I'm writing this too soon and it would be wiser if I wait a little longer to understand what is going on but I just feel like I have to get this garbage out of my mind and chest. At the end, that's why I have opened this blog for!





So we all have been in the circumstances when a special friend or family member has the birthday coming soon and you put some thoughts to find a gift that doesn't have to be expensive, just thoughtful, nice and will bring a smile on their face. And sometimes you do actually get an idea on what it will be and you feel good about it! Depending on what it is, you arrange it so they get it on time. There are two parts on the gift, the Giving part and the Receiving part. So in this case you are the Giving part. You Give your idea wrapped with whatever took to deliver it (it can be hand work, time, money, material, etc). They Receive your idea but might actually not notice the wrapping. And if you notice that the wrapping is taken for granted, then you expect at least the gift itself to turn on some smiles and "Thank you"'s, hoping that the person at least will mean some of it. We all know that the gifts we get are usually useless but at least we all say "Waw, this is great!! Thank you so much" and stuff like that to make the Giving part feel appreciated and good about what they did.
So if you have done all what the Giving part should do but was not in person, face-to-face because of the circumstances, you at least expect an e-mail or some sort of message to tell you that the Receiving part did get the gift, did open the gift and did 'like' the gift. But what you get is actually a message that has nothing to do about your wrapping or your gift, nothing, nada, zip! The message is about how nice the day was and how the others have called them to wish them happy birthday and how much they liked that!
So today I learned something new and actually helpful: Do not spend time, energy or anything to wish someone's Happy Birthday! All you have to do is to have their number on your phone and give a ring sometime during the day! That will be considered a nice surprise, you will hear the "Waw", maybe a fake one but you will hear them say it. And everyone will be happy! Yep! that's it!
Again, because this was not face-to-face but all by e-mail, things are not very clear on what happened. I do not think that is all finished here or I will not hear something about what I did. What makes me write this is that I am not hearing that today. It will come later and will be explained why and I might change my mind and feel better but right now, is good that we are not face-to-face. Is sort of a test for how can I handle cases that make me angry in a modern, cold blood, non emotional and business like manner. I am growing every day :)

Old friends

Today went out with some friends, all of them old friends. We know each-other for about 15 years now, so yes we are old friends. I am very close with two of them but one of them is not much in touch with us. 15 years ago, i used to be a very naive and shy girl, much more than now. In these 15 years i have changed a lot, but this friend doesn't know the new me very well now. So today, while talking, I noticed that he was surprised about somethings about me that I do consider now very normal and very common. In a way it pissed me off the fact that he remembers me like that girl 15 years ago, he doesn't know how much I have done, how strong I am now, maybe stronger than him.
It reminded me an episode from "Gray's Anatomy", where at the end she said " I am the chief of surgeons in a huge hospital and he still considers me like that shy girl from high school". felt the same for me today. It feels strange that I wanted to tell him how different I am and change the image of me in his head, but it is not easy, and maybe not worth it.
So, anyway, old friends are good, but it is better when you are often in touch with them, when you grow together.

My new country

I'm a little late on writing about this, I'm sure my friends are a little disappointed probably. But I gave myself some time in order to calm down, to see how my hot blooded thinking will pull in the wrong or right set of words to express myself.
So, most of the people that read my blog are my friends and they all know that I'm Albanian. Albania is a small country in Europe that sometime before the end of the 14-th century used to be bigger and had as part of it what is called now Kosovo. After a long time of Kosovo being under Serbs, people of Kosovo being abused, de-rooted, genocide and killed in masses, finally Kosovo has declared independence. They finally have some "big" guys to protect them while they watch their biggest dream for centuries coming true. These people are raised to hate Serbs, are grown up to be Albanian and never mix their language with Serbian, to be proud of their history and never forget who they really are. If they didn't have the big guys, Serbs would have killed them in cold blood and make sure that everyone around gets a different version of the real story, same as they did 10 years ago when they killed 10 thousand of them but never mention this on their protests against the "big guys" that are protecting Kosovo now.
It is amazing to see how other countries interest's are touched by this. Canada is scared that Quebec will do the same too. I understand Russia's and China's fear. They are like Serbs, rather kill the people than leave them free in their own old countries. But Canada and Quebec??? People in Kosovo have been KILLED from Serbs. People in Quebec have better life than the rest of Canada, they pay much less for their day-cares, schools, housing, etc. How in Earth can you compare these countries, their issues and their need for independence? Just 10 years ago, Serbs killed kids in the womb, cut nipples of pregnant women so they would not be able to breastfeed the children, executed in row dozens of men just like Hitler did with Jews 50 years before. But on the Serbs schools, Serb kids learn that NATO came and forced the Serbs out of Kosovo 10 years ago and they are the enemy. Just like in centuries, Serbs are following their way of dealing with the history facts : " Lie, lie and lie some more and people will forget what is the truth and will believe the lies!!"
Now I do not like Mr. President I think he is pretty dumb, but I have to shake his hand on what he did here and say "Thank you!". I am very happy about this independence. I don't think that Kosovo and Albania will ever get together and make the big Albania like it used to be 500 years ago. We are like twins raised in different families, brothers but not best bodies to hang out. Still, I'm happy they are free now and wish them a long free run. Just one thing ..... hmmm.. i don't really like their new flag :(